I’m thinking about change and transformation. In the last 7-8 years, there has been a lot of change- moving from one city to another, job changes, health issues, financial ups and downs, etc. Each of those changes was meaningful, even if some of them were more welcome than others.
I’ve been in New York City for 6 months now. It’s been an adjustment since I’ve changed many things at once. Not only have I changed cities, but I’m living with my family. I started a new job almost immediately after my move. I’m currently looking for an another job since the one I’m currently holding doesn’t align with my career. I’ve paid off a significant amount of my debt, which is a relief. I still have student loans to pay off and I’m focused on getting rid of them now. I’ve lost my base of friends that I developed in Washington, DC though I try to connect with people there regularly. I’m trying to build another set of friends in New York.
My sister made a comment maybe a month ago that I seem to be taking everything better than she expected. I was not emotionally okay for a long time after my move. But I never want to be the type of person who cannot function if something bad happens. That is embarrassing.
I can only guess at how people see me, but I was a very dark child when I was growing up. As I’ve gotten older, my personality has lightened somewhat so I’m less disconcertingly serious. And, even though I’m in my mid-thirties, I’m mistaken for a graduate student all the time. So, I feel like my personality is reverse aging over time and my looks have remained youthful. If you’re into astrology at all, I’m a triple Capricorn (Sun, Mercury, Venus) and I feel like I’m a breathing stereotype of a Capricorn.
One of the things that haven’t changed for me is my sense of practically. And I don’t like emotional dramatics. I just want to do what I have to do to fix the situation and move on. I may be permanently scarred by an experience but I have to move on. To survive.