I think I’m totally done with Amir*. I told him so last week and I think it’ll stick this time. There’re several reasons why I don’t want to be with him any longer. For example, I never saw him as a romantic partner to begin with. I just appreciated being desired by someone. But that is obviously unsustainable. And he seemed unsure about how to handle me as an Ace person, especially since I panicked the first and only time I stayed at his apartment. I got angry at one point and I wanted to yell at him that I wanted to be treated like a fucking normal person. But it’s quite fortunate that my default setting is to sublimate my negative feelings. Or I would’ve said something I’d regret later.
I’m not sad or anything which indicates that he really meant nothing to me. In fact, I feel kind of relieved. I’m obviously glossing over several problems but I don’t want to reveal too many personal details here. I can admit to feeling like I’m unburdened. I’d rather be friends with him, not a romantic relationship.
* All names in this blog are fictional to protect individuals’ privacy.
Today I’m listening to:
Andrea Bocelli- “Sogno d’amore”, “Liberta” and “Il mistero dell’amore”