Love and romance

What does love and romance mean for an Ace person? I don’t know exactly….

For some reason, I always believed that everyone has a soulmate or a couple of people who they’ll be compatible with no matter what. Maybe I consumed too many romance movies and books and became sentimental as a result.

However, I can be practical as well. Lust does not play a role in my calculation in whether someone is attractive. I can be aesthetically attracted to someone… but it matters only in the sense that the person knows how to present themself in social situations and won’t embarrass me. I care a lot more about the other person’s education, job status, views about money, whether they use drugs, etc. I find the feeling of doing the “right” thing to be comforting.

I previously mentioned that I love being of service to people. I feel like this is my preferred “love language”. Instead of verbalizing my affections or buying crazy gifts, I tend to do things for people I love. My love for my family means I will wake up early on Saturdays and make pancakes for breakfast. I will always return a friend’s message or phone call. This isn’t really romantic. But I feel like it’s something you should do for someone day-to-day that shows that you’ll be there. Of course, I can appreciate all the other love languages like touch and verbal affection.

I feel like I haven’t really gone through the stereotypical romantic relationship with anyone. I’m not sure if I want to. I want to define what it means to be in a relationship for myself and try not to hew too much to what I’m supposed to do.

While writing this post, I was listening to:

Sting’s Sacred Love, A Thousand Years, If I Lose My Faith in You, and Brand New Day.


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