Second try’s a no go

On Friday, I had a second date with a guy who I met through OkCupid. We met at a nice restaurant in Manhattan’s Lower East Side, where we both ordered fish entrees and I ordered a Moscow mule. After our meal, we went to a nearby Japanese tea shop for tea and desserts. We definitely over-ordered there. We got our tea, shaved ice, mochi and ice cream. But I would go back to the restaurant and tea shop again because the atmosphere and food were delicious.

I think that I won’t go to those places with him again. If he messages me, I want to say that we’re better off being friends. I don’t feel the desire to be involved with him romantically. I usually feel some kind of pull or urge if I’m romantically interested in a person. And it doesn’t seem like he does either. I thought we got along well, but there’s usually some sign that the other person wants to be with you romantically. They’ll lightly touch you on the arm or the hand or put a hand on your back to guide you through a crowded area. They’ll kiss you goodbye either on the lips or on the cheek. He didn’t do any of those things. He’s also very quiet on the messaging front. I felt kind of relieved at first because I hate endless texting and find nonstop flirting to be draining. But he’s too silent and I think that’s disconcerting.

I suspect that he’s asexual because of the way he acts. He didn’t come out to me and we didn’t have a discussion about my demisexuality. But I have a hunch after being around other Aces for the past 4-5 years. I actually rather date other Aces because they understand me. But, even if my assumption is correct, I don’t see him as someone who I want to be partnered with. I’m a little sad because he’s a nice guy. It would have been great if we had that special chemistry.

On a final note, I find meeting new people to be very tiring. I know I have to keep trying, but I find it challenging to be on all the time. Dating is harder for me than my role as Ace event host where I meet many strangers at once, maybe because I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself. I’m still feeling anxiety before my dates but that will go away eventually. I think I started this blog originally trying to lighthearted but I don’t feel like that anymore.

While drafting this post, I listened to Leona Lewis’ Run and Better in Time, Lara Fabian’s I Will Love Again, and Demi Lovato’s Fix a Heart.


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